I want to eat....something....anything and yet I can't find one thing that sounds good. This might not sound strange to the normal human being but, to a Hickman, or former Hickman this may be the first sign of a terminal illness, for we can always find something to eat.
When I get like this I have learned to sit back and take a deep breath go inside of myself to see what I "really" need. For I know its not food!
After mom died I spent the entire week with my sisters and family, I haven't spent that much time with them in years. This week when I go inside to see why I want to eat and can't find anything that fills that need I recognize that I miss my sisters. It was such a sweet experience to be back with them in our parents home.
I felt like a child again, being around them each day and, I think I can recognize that it won't happen again so I didn't want it to end. Each day since the funeral has been over I have felt the need to call and talk to them, hear their voices, cry with them. I have found sweet comfort in my grief hearing their voices and being reminded that I am one part of a whole.
We each have our own homes, and families that will have to be tended to and cared for and I suspect we well go back to talking less than we would like. But, for one week I felt like a child again and I think I know how my mother must have felt when her mother died, homeless but not "family-less" just longing for the sweet sounds of her siblings voices to tie her back to her youth.
Thank goodness my parents had the common sense to have 6 of us!!!!
3 comments:
This post made me cry. Beautifully written. I too want to go back to that week, and to my youth...how very blessed I am to have 5 amazing aunts.
Melissa,
That post exactly defines how I feel, I love you and thanks for writing it. Love you,
Smooches to you Kathryn!!!
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