I Am My Mother's Daughter

I have been reminded almost daily; that I am just like my mother, when I was young I took this as an indictment.

I was embarrassed by many things my mother did. For example: I wanted my mother to wear go-go boots like Jan Jensen’s mom. I did not want my mother to announce to friends or dates that “Melissa’s not here she broke her leg and we had to shoot her”. And, why did my mother have to be the last mom in Prove to adopt a pair of jeans? It was during these years I first heard the words of wisdom from my mother, which would dictate much of my life. 

"Melissa you don’t have to tell everything you know" and, 

"Melissa, think before you speak". (I’m pretty sure I earned those directions honestly) 

As I grew into my young adult years I began to appreciate my mom in different ways. When I entered college and wondered what was I going to do in this vast waste land (I wasn’t the scholar in the family), and I had discovered that my mom had graduated from college, I thought to myself if she can do it I can too. And then, when I left for my mission and was terribly home sick it was my mother who calmed the storm with her own brand of love and firmness, “Finnish what you start”, which I did and am forever grateful for. 

When I started raising my own children my thoughts turned towards my mother in a much different way. I now understood why she shunned those jeans so many years ago; the darn waste was just too tight. I fretted about my kid’s decisions, and worried about their futures, and above all else I would do anything for them. With these realizations in mind I called my mother one day and shared with her my understanding of what her life was like when her children made decisions that she didn’t always agree with. What I was learning then and what I can see clearly now was my mother’s unconditional love. 

With the advent of grandchildren my heart expanded exponentially each one bringing more joy than the last. I remembered watching my mother swaddle, cuddle, kiss, chase and devour each child that came within her grasp. None were safe from the arms and lips of my mother. I too have the same insatiable appetite for my own grandchildren. 

As I embraced the phrase “ you are just like your mother” I was able to look past the things I would have changed and to value those gifts she had passed onto me: the gift a gab, a sense of humor, a passion for friends and family, I would rather wear a dirty moo-moo and eat on paper plates and have friends and family at my table than to be alone in a perfect house. And most importantly to be a woman of faith, to believe deeply and passionately in all things spiritual, truly, once I stopped dreading becoming my mother I could see her Christ like qualities in their full splendor. Now when someone says, “you are just like your mother”, I find sweet comfort in those words. 

The Queen has left her court…..My mother passed away on a glorious Sunday morning, and I believe my father was at her side. I could not have asked for a sweeter experience than to be surrounded at my mother's bed with my sisters, brother-in law, nieces, nephews and Deb to witness her crossing. I can only hope that I can emulate her life by the way I live mine, full of love, laughter, good friends, cherished family and service to all!!!