I Want to Eat

I want to eat....something....anything and yet I can't find one thing that sounds good.  This might not sound strange to the normal human being but, to a Hickman, or former Hickman this may be the first sign of a terminal illness, for we can always find something to eat.

When I get like this I have learned to sit back and take a deep breath go inside of myself to see what I "really" need.  For I know its not food!

After mom died I spent the entire week with my sisters and family, I haven't spent that much time with them in years.  This week when I go inside to see why I want to eat and can't find anything that fills that need I recognize that I miss my sisters.  It was such a sweet experience to be back with them in our parents home.

I felt like a child again, being around them each day and, I think I can recognize that it won't happen again so I didn't want it to end.  Each day since the funeral has been over I have felt the need to call and talk to them, hear their voices, cry with them.  I have found sweet comfort in my grief hearing their voices and being reminded that I am one part of a whole. 

We each have our own homes, and families that will have to be tended to and cared for and I suspect we well go back to talking less than we would like.  But, for one week I felt like a child again and I think I know how my mother must have felt when her mother died, homeless but not "family-less" just longing for the sweet sounds of her siblings voices to tie her back to her youth.

Thank goodness my parents had the common sense to have 6 of us!!!!